I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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