we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
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