She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
