You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
