he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
i now understand why vodka
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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