have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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