I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
