Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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