He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
