turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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