I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I think a kid would responsible me up
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Come share oat with me in your robe
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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