office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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