GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
