Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
