I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
