There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
