I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
