Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
