Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
