i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
