Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
