Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
