Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
