I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
