Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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