Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
