Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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