New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
