You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
so much tequila, so little girl.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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