just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
