im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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