things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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