I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
