We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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