just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
