I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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