Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
