If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
