Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
