Tell her she can't have a vagina
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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