I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
