Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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