i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
