Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
