you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Your topless pictures make me question reality
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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