Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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