oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
