I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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