good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
