So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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